I am a Diseased Indiviual
My body screams for anything that can harm me
These things when I use them become my drug
I cry out for them
I want the escape
When I feel that burning sensation down my chest I feel the warmth on my cold heart
When I snort that line, smoke that pipe or pop that pill my head shuts up and you no longer matter to me
When I get fucked I want more of it, again an escape something that makes me feel worthy, something that makes me feel loved
I want you, I need you!!!!
I want to feel that warmth on my heart, I want to feel that escape!!!
I need this head to shut up!!!
Love me, tell me I matter.
Now the consequences are real
Im in hand cuffs, I dont know what I did
I caused more pain, I hurt you
You were the one person I could trust
I feel the drugs pooring out of my skin
I need more, my body won't stop shaking!
Make it stop
Fuck why are you not making it better?
My disease is crying out
I know what happens when I succumb to this
I know the consequences
I know the pain
I have seen my friends die from this fucking thing
Yet I hear you whispering my name
I want to come running back to it
Maybe then they will see how bad I got
How lost I was
I remember how much all I wanted to do was DIE!!!!
Now the pain that is brought on is like I am cutting all over again.
I should run from you
I should sheild everything from you
Yet I show up and put my arms out
Make me bleed
Tell me how you really feel
I believe you
I am sober
I am clean
I didn't cut
I am a Diseased Individual