5 years ago today, 1/6/2011 heaven recieved a beautiful angel. Here is what I said at her service 5 years ago.
Chelsea always had a way of bringing joy to everyone that she met. No matter what she was doing she always had a contagious smile on her face. It was always hard to introduce Chelsea as a little girl that my sister and I baby sat when truly she was like a little sister that I never had.
Over the last couple of days I have seen how Chelsea is living through all of us already. When Jesse is running around smiling and playing I see her, and I know that it is Chelsea who is bringing back the stories where we can’t help but smile thinking of them. The last time I saw Chelsea was at my sister’s wedding. On the way there we were talking about how I was getting ready to move to Arizona for college. She asked me if I was scared about making friends which I was. Then she just said Well Jessi make sure that you always smile and say hi to everyone. I said Really Chels? And with a smile on her face she said Yup….it works for me. Chelsea was an amazing little girl; she had such a good heart and was always concerned about other people. Her joy is something that we will miss and never be able to forget.
I would like to share a poem that I found. I’LL BE THERE
Daddy please don’t look so sad, Momma please don’t cry,
because I am in the arms of Jesus, and he sings me lullabies.
Please try not to question God, don’t think he is unkind,
don’t think he sent me to you, and then he changed his mind.
You see, I’m a special child, and I’m needed up above.
I’m the special gift you gave him, the product of our love.
I’ll always be there with you, watch the sky at night,
find the brightest star that is gleaming, that’s my halo’s brilliant light.
You’ll see me in the morning frost, that mists your window pane,
that’s me in the summer showers, I’ll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a gentle breeze, from a gentle wind that blows,
that’s me, I’ll be there, planting a kiss on your nose.
When you see a child playing, and your heart feels a little tug,
that’s me, I’ll be there, giving your heart a hug.
So, Daddy, please don’t look so sad, Momma, don’t you cry,
I’m in the arms of Jesus, and he sings me lullabies.
I still can't believe she is gone, this little girl was amazing. She was only 8 years old and had a heart of gold. She did so much work with Special Olympics as her aunt was an athlete. She always saw the brighter things in life and it was the little things that brought her soo much joy. I miss her very much. Some days it feels like it was just yesterday that she left us. I'm sure God is enjoying her spirit as she is for sure an angel up there in heaven. Sometimes I feel as though she is with me.
I do my best to remember what she said, just to continue smiling. This girl always had a smile on her face. 5 years ago within a 4 month period I had 5 people very close to me pass. 3 of them were under 20, one was my grandfather and the other my uncle. I miss them all so much. When I look back at that year I get goose bumps. I had just gone through a miscarriage before all of this happened and I was very active in my disease. I cant believe that I didnt get sober then! My life was out of control and I absolutely believed that booze and drugs were merely a source of strength for me to carry on.
I believe today that Chelsea is very happy to see that I am still sober and doing my best to continue to do the next right thing and to stay sober.
I believe that my Pops who died with 35 years of sobriety is with me in the fellowship of the spirit as it says in the chapter A Vision for You in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
I believe that my Uncle Bobby is here with my family and now that my grandma Claire is up there with him that he is truly happy to see how far some of us have come.
I believe that Tammy who also died of an anuerism is just as happy in heaven as she was on Earth.
And I believe that Scott, my friend who I found dead with a needle in his leg, is finally free from addiction and I feel that he too is with me in the fellowship of the spirit. I believe that me seeing him like that kept me from ever touching heroin and for that I am truly grateful.
As much as I may miss my loved ones and friends that have passed on I try to remember that they wouldnt want me to be in remorse or heartache over their passing. I may cry somedays as I just miss them so much. But Im sure they would rather me smile in the memories that will forever me in my heart.
Chelsea- Rest in Paradise baby doll. I have not forgotten you and I never will. You are what keeps me keeping on!